Show Notes
Relationship violence is a tragic circumstance that is very difficult to discuss. Please be advised that this episode contains discussions of relationship violence and the depiction of traumatic events.
On this episode of the NNLM Discovery podcast, Region 3’s Community Engagement Coordinator, Margie Sheppard, discusses a new program funded over the last year called Claire’s Community, which is trying to inform and educate the public about relationship violence. Margie interviews Shannon VanLandingham, Claire’s mother, Executive Director of Be More Like Claire.
Although this story is born of tragedy and discusses Claire’s murder, this story leads to a discussion about building healthy, respectful and nonviolent relationships. This is a positive story of hope and resilience.
For more information about Claire’s Community visit www.claires-community.org.
To listen to Region 3’s podcast series, “Health Bytes with Region 3,” which is mentioned in this episode, visit https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healthbyteswithregion3.
The NNLM is the outreach arm of the National Library of Medicine with the mission to advance the progress of medicine and improve the public health by providing all U.S. health professionals with equal access to biomedical information and improving the public's access to information to enable them to make informed decisions about their health. The seven Health Sciences Libraries function as the Regional Medical Library (RML) for their respective region, with Region Four consisting of: Arizona, Idaho, Colorado, Montana, New Mexico, North Dakota, South Dakota, Utah, and Wyoming.
To learn more about Region 3 visit: http://www.nnlm.gov/about/regions/region3
All of the artwork for this podcast series has been created with a generative AI text-to-image tool – until this episode. We felt the subject matter of this episode was so moving that it was best to simply present a photo of Claire.
Join Outreach Services Librarian, Yamila El-Khayat, for new episodes of the NNLM Discovery podcast. You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Google Podcasts, or listen on our website www.nnlm.gov/podcast. Please be sure to like, rate, and review the show!
We want your feedback! Please click on this link to offer your opinions about the NNLM Podcast!
Transcript
00;00;04;15 - 00;00;13;18
Claire VanLandingham
[Claire singing] You and me, we used to be so stupid, awkward, and carefree but we grew up a little in a house on South Downs Road.
00;00;14;05 - 00;00;38;10
Yamila El-Khayat
I'm librarian Yamila El-Khayat and this is NNLM Discovery. Today's episode is Claire’s Community, a story from Region 3. We started things off a little differently today with an original song by Lieutenant Dr. Claire VanLandingham, who is featured in today's story. A quick warning: this episode contains discussions of relationship violence and the depiction of traumatic events.
00;00;38;25 - 00;00;47;00
Yamila El-Khayat
Listener discretion is advised. Margie Sheppard, Community Engagement Coordinator, will be joining us today. Hi, Margie.
00;00;47;01 - 00;00;47;23
Margie Sheppard
Hi, Yamila.
00;00;48;05 - 00;00;54;04
Yamila El-Khayat
So, this is our first episode with a disclaimer at the beginning. Can you tell us a little bit more about why there's a disclaimer?
00;00;54;04 - 00;01;18;01
Margie Sheppard
Yes, we're talking about a new program, Region 3, funded over the last year called Claire’s Community, which is trying to inform and educate the public, so no one is a victim of interpersonal violence. Although we have a disclaimer, our story is more about building healthy, respectful and nonviolent relationships. I think this is a positive story of hope and resilience that everyone should listen to.
00;01;18;19 - 00;01;25;11
Margie Sheppard
However, unfortunately, it is born from a horrible tragedy that we'll also be discussing in our interview.
00;01;25;19 - 00;01;33;28
Yamila El-Khayat
Wow. This sounds like a very inspiring story. I think we should just jump right into your interview. Anything we need to know beforehand?
00;01;34;15 - 00;01;57;27
Margie Sheppard
Yeah, just a couple things before we begin. We'll be talking to Shannon VanLandingham, Claire’s mom. When she describes Claire’s tragic passing, Shannon references October and January in her story. So just to be clear, this took place in October of 2017 and January of 2018. Claire’s Community, won a grant from NNLM in October of 2022.
00;01;57;29 - 00;02;18;19
Margie Sheppard
Also, we tried to add Claire’s beautiful voice in this story as much as possible. She taught herself how to play the guitar and wrote some original music that you heard in the opening. But we'll also play more throughout this interview. So when you hear any guitar and singing, that's Claire. We also added Claire’s singing in a Navy choir to this story as well.
00;02;19;24 - 00;02;25;09
Margie Sheppard
My first question to Shannon was for her to introduce herself. Here's Shannon.
00;02;26;08 - 00;02;41;00
Shannon VanLandingham
Hi, I'm Shannon VanLandingham and I am the Executive Director of Be More Like Claire. We are based in Lawrence, Kansas, but we have resources that can be accessed from anywhere as long as you have the Internet.
00;02;41;12 - 00;02;48;07
Margie Sheppard
So you mentioned the name of your foundation, Be More Like Claire. Tell us a little bit about your foundation.
00;02;48;22 - 00;03;29;18
Shannon VanLandingham
Our organization was started as a way to honor my daughter Claire, and her legacy of service and love and good works and doing good in the world. She was a dentist in the Navy. Claire was a staunch advocate for just basic human rights. She believed that everybody deserved access to food, housing, and health care. She was a big believer in mentoring and helping kids and young people.
00;03;30;18 - 00;03;51;04
Shannon VanLandingham
She was an advocate for violence prevention and interpersonal violence prevention. She was head of Take Back the Night once in Louisville, Kentucky, when she was in dental school and did a public service announcement in which she said we will rise:
00;03;51;04 - 00;03;54;07
Claire VanLandingham
We will rise up as a community and say that violence against anyone is unacceptable.
00;03;54;07 - 00;04;03;23
Shannon VanLandingham
So she really, she walked the walk of putting her beliefs in action. And I always really admired that about her.
00;04;04;23 - 00;04;23;11
Margie Sheppard
Claire came to, her life, came to a tragic end. So, I know it's hard, but I think it's something that, you know, the project that we funded with you was kind of born out of this tragedy, but a lot of really good has come from it. So, I mean, if you don't mind, just kind of tell me a little bit about what happened.
00;04;23;25 - 00;04;57;09
Shannon VanLandingham
Well, as I said, Claire was a dentist in the Navy. She was 27, had recently in October had broken up with a boyfriend and she was getting really worried. And she kept asking me like, "Mom, do you think this is healthy? And am I just being too picky?" And they had broken up a couple of times, and, but this last time he wouldn't leave and she asked us for help.
00;04;57;09 - 00;05;22;02
Shannon VanLandingham
So her Dad and I flew down, helped him, you know, pack up his stuff and move out. She had been to the police asking if they could get him out of her apartment. And they said, "well, you let him in. So, you know, there's nothing we can do." And they said, "has he hit you?" And she said, "No.
00;05;22;19 - 00;05;54;17
Shannon VanLandingham
But I know he has a gun and he's acting just really weird and scary. And I'm scared and I want him out." And they said, "well, call us back when he does something." Oh, yeah. So, we helped her move him out in October, and he went back to his hometown, back to Louisville. He was from there.
00;05;54;18 - 00;06;21;27
Shannon VanLandingham
That's where they met. And she was in Chicago, stationed at Great Lakes, doing dental work on thousands of recruits as they came through. She came home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. She was just so happy. She seemed relieved. And when she went back to work in January, she was riding with a friend to the base. They were carpooling because they lived kind of in the same area.
00;06;22;09 - 00;06;53;29
Shannon VanLandingham
And he was picking her up. And it was, you know, in Chicago in January. So it was very dark at 6:20 in the morning. And he pulled in to get her. And he, her friend, saw someone like getting out of a car and walking over to Claire. And so he watched. He was a combat medic. So he was used to like kind of assessing, you know, what's what's going on in the situation.
00;06;53;29 - 00;07;17;21
Shannon VanLandingham
And he looked in and he said and I looked at Claire and he said, I could tell that she wasn’t, that she knew him. It's her body language. And you know, the way they were interacting. And so her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend had a box and he walked over and they talked for a little bit. And, you know, she was like, "I got to go.
00;07;17;27 - 00;07;42;05
Shannon VanLandingham
I have to go to work." And he gave her this box and she was she said, "I'm just going to put in my car." And so she unlocked the car, put the box in. And when she turned around, he shot her five times. So my beautiful daughter died on a frozen parking lot, in the dark, just on the dirty snow.
00;07;42;28 - 00;08;10;24
Claire VanLandingham
[Claire singing]
00;08;10;24 - 00;08;25;29
Margie Sheppard
Wow, that's. Gosh, I don't even know how to begin to. You know, saying sorry is not enough, it's not. So, were there any warning signs?
00;08;26;26 - 00;09;04;09
Shannon VanLandingham
Oh, yes. Now I realize that he was doing like, right down the list, every kind of abuse except physical. And we all know what it looks like when someone's hitting someone else. But we don't necessarily recognize all of the the coercive control and the things that are more subtle. But I, I wanted to start educating people on the things that she and I didn't know, didn't know about.
00;09;04;09 - 00;09;31;18
Shannon VanLandingham
I mean, we were both smart people. She was brilliant. And, but we didn't know anything about the signs of coercive control. We didn't know about financial abuse and emotional abuse and gaslighting. And it doesn't happen just all at once, you know, you don't go on a first date with somebody and they, you know, say, "you can't ever see your friends and family again.
00;09;32;10 - 00;09;41;16
Shannon VanLandingham
I love you so much. I don't ever want you to be around them." You know, things like that, that if that happened on the first date, there would not be a second date. So it's very gradual.
00;09;41;26 - 00;09;55;29
Margie Sheppard
Yeah, very, very true. So, I mean, I'm a mom and you're a mom, you know, How do you get up the next day or put your foot in front of the next and recover from this, that you're never going to get over it, but what do you do?
00;09;56;14 - 00;10;33;17
Shannon VanLandingham
Well, first you cry a lot. But, I just knew that we had to do something to carry on her legacy. Right after she died, her friends started the hashtag, #BeMoreLikeClaire, because they were all saying, "we just, we counted on her to take up all the slack to do what needed to be done, and to kind of like, help us, you know, do more good things and help people."
00;10;33;17 - 00;10;57;16
Shannon VanLandingham
But they like, "now she's gone and we have to step up. We have to be more like Claire." A former high school boyfriend said, he called me on her birthday and said, "I bought you a present for Claire's birthday," and he said, "I bought the domain name, BeMoreLikeClaire." And he said, "I don't know what you're going to do with it, but I know you're going to do something."
00;10;57;24 - 00;11;04;06
Margie Sheppard
From that hashtag, that you started a nonprofit, #BeMoreLikeClaire. So what's the mission of the organization?
00;11;05;21 - 00;11;35;13
Shannon VanLandingham
So in the beginning, because my grief was just so overwhelming, I knew that I couldn't deal directly then with how she was killed. So I wanted to celebrate her life. And, so in the beginning we were a grant giving organization and we raised money and gave grants to organizations that we thought that Claire would have done.
00;11;35;20 - 00;11;55;07
Shannon VanLandingham
We funded and built with our own volunteers a Habitat house for a family. We bought a new van, so that the local dental clinic could reach more kids in schools. We built a an educational kitchen at our food bank.
00;11;55;19 - 00;12;09;14
Margie Sheppard
Oh, that's really inspiring. So, I know that from this nonprofit that you started, a new violence prevention program, Claire's Community. So, tell me a little bit about what you envisioned for the Claire's Community Project.
00;12;09;29 - 00;12;43;07
Shannon VanLandingham
Well, as time went on, I became stronger and realized because really I was trying to find a program to fund, and so I was doing a lot of research about relationship violence prevention and education, and I couldn't really find what I wanted. So, we started working on our own curriculum, and we called it Claire's Community, after her call to action, "we will rise up as a community to say that violence against anyone is unacceptable."
00;12;43;28 - 00;13;11;19
Shannon VanLandingham
We now have a a suite of educational programs and lots of resources. We have basically what I wish we would have known and what I wish Claire would have known, and what I wish that my kids would have been taught as they grew up. And we know that hurting people hurt people. That doesn't happen in a vacuum. So everybody, it affects everybody.
00;13;11;19 - 00;13;19;08
Shannon VanLandingham
There's not one group, or one demographic, that doesn't have relationship violence.
00;13;19;14 - 00;13;28;03
Margie Sheppard
So can you just tell me, give me a brief explanation or a snapshot, of your project proposal for this grant application?
00;13;28;21 - 00;14;04;25
Shannon VanLandingham
Well, since we were new and tiny and didn't have a huge capacity, we kept it very simple. We asked for one of the things we knew we wanted was a nice website. So in an NNLM Region 3 funded this beautiful website. Claires-Community.org. And it is all, it is just full of resources of registration for classes we have. We have blog posts, videos, all kinds of things for all ages.
00;14;04;25 - 00;14;29;24
Shannon VanLandingham
And then we have a lot of our materials also in Spanish. And then the other part was, we needed help getting the word out. And so they funded our outreach position and that helped as we were getting community partners, as we were talking about it in the community, having an extra person to help find these community collaborations and connections.
00;14;30;12 - 00;14;39;15
Margie Sheppard
You know, what did it mean for you, not only professionally but personally, to be awarded this grant from Region 3?
00;14;39;29 - 00;15;10;25
Shannon VanLandingham
Well, it's meant a great deal. As I've said, we were just trying to launch this program and it meant a lot professionally that NNLM believed in us. And personally, it just helped me get through it and working every day to make things better and to change lives and to save lives is the best thing you could hope for.
00;15;11;09 - 00;15;17;05
Margie Sheppard
I mean, I know you're just a year into it, so just kind of share some stories about how's it helped.
00;15;17;15 - 00;15;47;21
Shannon VanLandingham
I do have a recent story to share. There was a young woman on her bridesmaid's trip and the bride had taken our one of our classes and learned about, you know, all these signs, and red flags, and how they how they show up in relationships. And as they were, you know, just hanging out during the weekend, she realized that three of them were in unhealthy relationships.
00;15;48;26 - 00;16;17;06
Shannon VanLandingham
Also, the bride had learned some skills and how to talk to a friend in an unhealthy relationship. And so she could talk to her without judgment, without pushing, without further traumatizing the young woman, and let her make her own decision, but just be there for her. Within a couple of months, that young woman decided to leave the relationship and is now safe.
00;16;17;22 - 00;16;20;22
Shannon VanLandingham
So we're changing lives.
00;16;22;03 - 00;16;35;05
Margie Sheppard
Wow. That's really good to hear and makes me feel really great. Just knowing this, the impact factor of this project. What kind of community activities were you able to plan, and were actualized by getting the funding?
00;16;35;13 - 00;17;08;20
Shannon VanLandingham
We have done a lot of small group trainings. That's what I love about our program is it's very customizable for any group and we are getting ready to train all the employees at a regional bank. And then that one, we will have a piece on how to recognize financial abuse for people who are coming in. We're also training like hair salons because they see a lot of women.
00;17;08;20 - 00;17;18;03
Shannon VanLandingham
They have people in their chair that you know, and of course, you talk to your hairstylist. And we are trying to meet people both literally and figuratively, where they are.
00;17;18;27 - 00;17;24;16
Margie Sheppard
So where do you see the program going in the future? You know, so do you have any long term goals for Claire's Community?
00;17;24;16 - 00;17;50;26
Shannon VanLandingham
We do. We want to take over the world for peace and love. Yeah. So, one of the reasons that our website is so important is that we want to develop online classes, and some kind of hybrid education pieces, so that people can take a class wherever they are as long as they have a computer.
00;17;51;08 - 00;18;04;11
Margie Sheppard
So, we've got this wonderful resource out there. So for anyone that's listening to the podcast that's experienced relationship violence in the past, or currently experiencing it, what advice would you give them?
00;18;04;29 - 00;18;35;27
Shannon VanLandingham
It’s so hard to see when you're in it. And it's hard. It's much easier to see from the outside. So if you can find a trusted friend or a trusted advocate, find someone that you can talk to that's not going to judge you, that's not going to push you to do anything until you're ready, because you are the expert in your own relationship and on your own safety.
00;18;36;06 - 00;18;38;16
Shannon VanLandingham
And, but find somebody that you can trust.
00;18;39;14 - 00;18;46;20
Margie Sheppard
So, Shannon, can you tell me, do you think this project would have existed without the financial support from NNLM?
00;18;46;20 - 00;19;16;19
Shannon VanLandingham
Probably not, because NNLM was our biggest first year funder and that really, really helped us get on the ground. And we had a great website designer and now we have this fabulous tool that allows us to do so many things and have so many resources. We are adding content all the time and we would not have been able to do that on our own.
00;19;18;07 - 00;19;32;27
Yamila El-Khayat
Wow. Margie, what an inspirational and powerful story. Thank you for sharing that with us and thanks for supporting Shannon through the process. It sounds like this project is not only providing healing for her, but also saving many lives.
00;19;33;04 - 00;19;56;15
Margie Sheppard
Thanks, Yamila. This is something I've been so proud to be a part of. It's not every day you hear about lives that are being directly impacted by our work. You start forming a personal bond with people, like Shannon, who are trying to impact the world. Again to learn more about this project or to learn more about curbing relationship violence, visit Claires-Community.org.
00;19;57;20 - 00;20;06;26
Yamila El-Khayat
We will be sure to reference the website in the episode notes for those of you that may want to visit the site. So, Margie, how did Shannon hear about the NNLM?
00;20;06;26 - 00;20;21;03
Margie Sheppard
Well, actually it was through a friend. As a small nonprofit, she was really intimidated by the grant process, but as you heard, it's something that truly launched Claire's Community into taking action versus just trying to figure out how to get started.
00;20;21;12 - 00;20;29;27
Yamila El-Khayat
That's good to know for others not to be intimidated. It was very nice seeing you again, Margie, and thank you for sharing all that good work that you're doing.
00;20;30;04 - 00;20;51;18
Margie Sheppard
Well, you're welcome, Yamila, and it was great to see you too. Lastly, before I go, I want to let listeners know that our region, Region 3, also has a podcast series called, "Health Bytes with Region 3," we invite experts in the field of health to present on a variety of topics of interest for anyone interested in improving health outcomes.
00;20;52;01 - 00;20;56;13
Margie Sheppard
You can find the podcast on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
00;20;56;26 - 00;21;19;28
Yamila El-Khayat
Thanks for sharing about Health Bytes. It's another great podcast. Make sure to subscribe to it and our podcast as we develop new podcast episodes from all Regions of the network. If you have a project that fits the NNLM mission, like Claire's Community, visit NNLM.gov to learn more about grant opportunities. This is NNLM Discovery.
